"__________," Feliciano whined, "I'm so lonely since Luddy left!" You looked up from your book, "What do you want me to do?" Feli crossed his arms and put on that cute determined face, "I want to get a girlfriend." Blushing you said, "Feli you mean-?" "I need your help to get one to like me." *cue the sweat drop* "Why do you need me? Isn't Italian the language of love or something?" you shrugged, "Talk to her in Italian." "____________, I need you to make sure I don't mess up!" You sighed and got up, "Ok, but I'm driving." Feliciano-"Then I can tell you my pickup lines." Today was going to be a long day.
~Time Skip to a park where we find the Italian male in the mist of its strange mating rituals~
"Ciao bella, can I have your name?" The good woman cocked her head, "Why don't you have one of your own?" "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" asked the perky Italian. "In the phone book," the woman deadpanned. You wanted to get up and tell Feliciano to stop before he got slapped, but it was like you could only just watch. "But I don't know your name." "That's in the phone book too." With that the woman walked off. Turning around Feliciano saw another pretty girl, "Hey baby, I know how to please a woman…" "Then please leave me alone," the girl said and walked away leaving poor Feliciano behind. "But big brother Francis said that would work…" Another pretty girl walked back and he sprang up and walked over to her. "So what do you do for a living?" The woman turned to him, "Female impersonator." Feli cringed and ran to you, "It's not working!" He fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around your waist. "I'm going to be alone forever!" "No…no!" you said. "Come on I'll take you to my place and I'll make you some pasta ok?" Feliciano nodded and you took his hand and walked him back to the car. As the two of you walked he stared at you; your (h/l) (h/c) blowing lightly in the breeze, (e/c) shining, you were so nice to him. You always listened and never yelled at him and out could cook pasta. That's when Feliciano realized something, 'She's perfect.'
I laughed so friggin hard
me: i kill Italians...sometimes japanese
I'm SO using the female impersonator one. XD
...I'd let them work on me anytime